To help your child move on, try to end breastfeeding gradually and with love while giving him your time and attention in other ways. Encouragement and support are always helpful when our children are moving on in life, from toddlerhood to teenage years.
An intense need for mum A baby has an intense need to be with his mother that is as important as his need for food. Breastfeeding is not just food—it helps your toddler maintain the close attachment to you that has been his security up until now.
There are many reasons why children need extra reassurance from nursing. Many little ones want to nurse only occasionally, perhaps for going to sleep and if they hurt themselves. But if your child seems to breastfeed avidly, it can help to look at what is happening in his life and yours. Perhaps he spends time away from you or particular demands on your time and attention take you away from him, such as other children, the telephone, the Internet or your job.
Are you meeting his needs for attention, conversation and playmates, in addition to snacks and drinks, before he asks to nurse? You too may have got used to thinking that nursing meets every need. As they get older, children crave your focused attention as well. Sometimes nursing replaces other important contact: playing, exploring the great outdoors and taking part in household tasks. If you need to be apart at times, his need for closeness may be more intense than ever when you are together.
Satisfying this need will help equip your child for times when you are away. Many older children enjoy spending time with dad and only ask to nurse when mum is around. Young children often pick up on any emotional stress in the family, or changes such as moving house.
Major growth and development milestones, illness or allergies could also be factors that influence his need for you. If you are feeling uncertain or worried about limiting nursing, you may find your child becomes anxious and asks to nurse more frequently. On the other hand, if you are confident about your decision and able to give of yourself lovingly in other ways, weaning is likely to go more smoothly.
He may feel his toddler is too dependent on you, or that breastfeeding is only for babies. In your eyes your child is still your baby whilst others see him or her as a big boy or girl who can walk and talk. It can help to share your feelings honestly with your partner and listen carefully to how he feels.
He might find talking to another dad whose child nursed longer, or meeting a confident independent child who breastfed for a long time helps ease his concerns.
While our society often expects babies to be weaned from the breast within a year, no one seems to question that many two and three year olds still suck on bottles, thumbs, or dummies, or need a comfort object.
Even the clingiest toddlers have grown into independent, adventurous adults. If anyone you know has expressed such concerns, you might like to let him know about my son Michael. He nursed until he was four, preferred to stay home and not go to playgroup until he was four and a quarter, and frequented the family bed for a quite a while.
But at the age of eighteen Michael completed his RAF Regiment training, a very physically demanding course. Only eight of the original thirty-one recruits got through. Now a Corporal, Michael is a confident, mature and very caring young man. Adventures in Gentle Discipline Flower, H. Adventures in Tandem Nursing. Flower, H. Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. Bumgarner, NJ. Starting Solid Food Thinking of Weaning? Do I have a plan for how to make that happen? I've discussed it with my pediatrician, whom I love.
Though she encourages me not to nurse him during the night, she'll just say, "Well, when you're ready you'll stop. At this point, I'm not quite sure how that will happen. Because he's 3, we have conversations where I'll say, "During the night, sometimes Mommy's boo-boos need to sleep and you need to sleep, so we can't always have boo boo.
I know that breastfeeding is a source of comfort for my son. If he gets hurt and I'm there, he'll often come over to me and ask to nurse. At night when we're lying in bed and I'm reading to him, the routine is always "boo boo and books.
And I am used to that comfortable feeling of having him in my arms, reading him stories while we nurse. Because I work full-time I often feel guilty about not being there for all his moments, but breastfeeding is something only we share.
Avan will enter preschool in the fall. I don't yet know if, unlike his big sister, he will still be breastfeeding when he goes. Hi, loved reading about your breastfeeding journey. It's pretty much like mine, except that my son is a single child and he sleeps with me. He is almost 30 months old now but he nurses every day and several times a night. I too have a full time job but these days, work from home most of the days due to the corona virus scare.
I am from India and breastfeeding is the norm but people don't really talk about it. I tried weaning him few months ago but he would be inconsolable and I could not bear it. Sometimes when I don't get a good night's sleep because of him not letting go of my breast even in his sleep or me having to nurse him back to sleep several times during the night, I start thinking about weaning.
But I don't know how to do that without it being traumatic for my baby. Also O love the bonding time that breastfeeding offers. So I guess I will leave it to my son to decide when he is done. Hi and thank you for sharing your story, very inspiring. I have a 23 month old and she is still nursing and waking up several times a night. She co sleeps with us and it is just easier for me lol. This is what our bodies were meant to do and it is a beautiful part of life. I personally do not care what others think or how they judge me.
Thank you for writing this piece! I just want to say, you rock! Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to write this. I tandem nurse my 2 yr old and 5 year old and my heart breaks when I hear people talk about breastfeeding as if it is only for newborns.
I absolutely love my breastfeeding journey and the bond it has created for my girls and I. Thank you so much for this. Good to know the science is in. It actually should be! If nature had made it possible for breastmilk to be produced by mothers years postpartum, there should be a reason why.
I totally relate to this experience. My daughter is 3. My first born still nurses and will turn 3 years old in March. My son has been sick twice since birth. I know my breastmilk still provides him sufficient nourishment and comfort. This is essential for his health, happiness, and growth.
I plan on letting him self ween. He will ween when the time is right. I want to provide as much protection as possible. The benefits outway the judgement. Keep on breastfeeding! I delivered my baby a week ago. I am so happy I got detailed information on latching baby onto the breast, how long to breastfeed, how often to nurse, breastfeeding positions and many such questions which were running through my mind.
By gaining this information I am feeling more confident and empowered. Indeed nursing will become a most rewarding responsibility for me with the help of your information and proper breastfeeding will give my baby head start to a healthy future. Thank you so much for this read. I have been the only mother in my family who has gone on for three years breatfeeding my only daughter.
I have heard many times by all my family when she turned a year that i needed to stop but i kept going. Eapically for her. She was a sickly baby as a newborn not to mention having her 3 weeks early. I wanted her to get as much nutrients i could give her and i didnt listen to family family. She just turned 3 and like the article stated we have the best bound because i was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and my anxiety has flared up but when i breastfeed i know all that goes away with the bound we have.
Thank you so much for writing this. What a fantastic article! Still feeding my little boy who is 3 soon. It is so great to read such a supportive piece when there are so many social pressures to stop. You have such and gentle and sensitive style and the way that you are so non-judgemental is refreshing and so inviting. Keep writing more! I am in no rush for it to end. Thank you for this encouragement. When were there any rules to it?
People in other countries breastfeed for as long as they can give and there is nothing wrong. Thank you for shining a needed light. This has been comforting. Your article has made me feel so much better!
My daughter is 3 years and 2 months and she still breast mainly for sleep time. But her father keeps putting me down when she is sick or has a cough saying that is my fault she has a cough or whatever and it makes me wanna tell him to stfu lol I just feel she is not ready yet and is lkkw you wrote.
It feels magical to be able to give her that comfort.! I had my first baby 8 months ago, and without knowing why, put a year timestamp on breastfeeding. Anyhow, thanks for writing such an in-depth article on this. I read the whole thing to my partner last night and he really appreciated all the facts you included. I appreciate this so much. My son is three years old and still breastfeeds. Thank you for all the wonderful information you have provided.
Gives me something to show so they can shut their mouths. What happens when a person has two or more children within a close age range, does nature suggest weening from yrs for more than one child What if there is then another sibling after that? Great point Chuk! We have many women in this community tandem nursing as well.
Wonderful post and so glad I found it. I am older now 72 and spending quite a bit of my retirement time reminiscing over my good fortune. I bucked the system and ignored my peers to nurse my only child until he was three years and one month. I remember vividly the last time I nursed him, after which I suggested we move on from nursing and have just a cuddle before bed.
He was ok with this, and I can SEE his face at that moment in time. It is a wonderful memory, tinged with sadness but full of joy knowing my son was now no longer a baby, but rather a growing boy. Never had an ear ache, few if any viruses, strong, wicked smart, and uncommonly happy. I attribute much of this to the milk, the nurturing, and good genes. Thought I was unusual, but glad to see that there are so many of us who have the fortitude to ignore all the white noise and follow their maternal instincts.
This is just beautiful! God bless you and your son. This article is amazing! Very well written and certainly necessary. I have two girls who are 7 and 14 months. I come from a family of woman who are not very affectionate and NONE of them breastfed their children so you all can imagine they are not fans of my decision to breastfeed.
Anyway I just wanted to share one thing. I feel so relaxed and so happy to see her little face. Sometimes she hums a little tune or dances while she feeds. Those feeding are my pep talks and gets me back in the game. Get the 5 Natural Parenting Secrets. Welcome to the Raised Good Community! I'm so excited you're here! Please check your email to confirm your subscription and claim your FREE guide.
Join the Mama Tribe. The Book. Search the Blog Search for:. A few moments to reset and catch my breath in our unnecessarily busy world. So here are a handful of reasons science proves breastfeeding beyond babyhood is beyond normal. Because humans are designed to nurse beyond babyhood Dr. For humans, this occurs at around months.
Adult bodyweight: Other studies suggest primates wean when they reach one-third of adult bodyweight. For humans, this means weaning at four to seven years. Length of pregnancy: Chimpanzees and gorillas nurse more than six times the length of gestation. Drawing a comparison from our closest cousins suggests that humans would nurse for 4.
Dental eruption: Many primates nurse until the first permanent molars erupt. In humans, this occurs at around 5. The results were incredible. Because it fuels emotional and intellectual intelligence Extensive research shows that children who breastfeed the longest have higher rates of cognitive achievement IQ scores, grades in school , with a positive relationship being seen between longer breastfeeding duration and social development.
Breastfeeding is a maternal superpower; why we would give it up prematurely is simply beyond me. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Leia says:. September 21, at AM. Tracy Gillett says:. September 29, at PM. Holly says:. November 24, at PM. November 26, at AM. Tracey says:. January 23, at PM. Anastasia says:. April 22, at PM. Jessica says:. December 31, at PM. January 1, at PM.
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