Why people molest children

In total, 89 studies were examined that compared child molesters to non-offenders, non-sexual offenders, or sexual offenders against adults rapists. Each finding was converted into a common effect size and combined through meta-analysis.

Like most offenders, child molesters are mostly males from difficult family backgrounds, who have a range of behavioural problems as both children and adults. Compared to non-offenders, child molesters are more likely to exhibit disruptive behaviour, substance abuse, aggression, poor social skills, depression and dysfunctional intimate relationships. The major factors that differentiate child molesters from other offenders concern sexual deviancy and attitudes tolerant of adult-child sex.

Interestingly, the developmental factor that most strongly differentiates child molesters from non-sexual offenders is a history of being sexually victimized during childhood. They are tired of all the secrets and lies.

Adapted with permission from Stop It Now! Minnesota, www. Why Would an Adult Abuse a Child? A small number of people who sexually abuse children are pedophiles. Some reasons why it happens Some people are sexual with children because of other difficulties in their lives. Some lack the social skills needed to create relationships with peers.

They may not recognize some hopes they have for the benefits that such understanding could bring. Over time the full significance of this question in your life may become clearer — or completely change as other aspects of your life change. Whatever your situation, interest in honestly exploring this difficult question is a sign of courage.

In discussions of this issue, strong divisions often arise between different people — even between people used or abused by the same person. Such differences and divisions totally make sense, and are normal.

There is no one perspective that is right for everyone all the time. Whether someone is interested in trying to understand why the individual s who sexually used or abused them did so, and what kinds of understandings or perspectives come most easily to them, depends on several factors.

Here are some very important ones:. You could probably care less what was going on inside them, or what their childhood was like. On the other hand, if it was someone you looked up to — or even loved, especially if you still love them — the wish to understand why they hurt you may be much stronger. The answer to this question will feel very important.

Remember, what is true for you, in your situation, may be completely different from the experience of someone else, even someone who was used or abused by the same person. There is no simple reason for why someone misuses a position of power or influence to be sexual with a child.

The answers are not only complex, but as different as the people and situations involved. Attempting to understand why someone behaved in a harmful way is absolutely not about making excuses for their behavior. Nor is it about denying or minimizing the negative effects of what happened on your life. Understanding is very different from finding excuses. Excuses are reasons why the person is not responsible. Understanding can shed light on the conditions and circumstance that may have made someone more likely to want to be sexual with a child, and more likely to choose to act on his or her fantasies and impulses.

But ultimately, the other person — at least if they were an older teenager or adult — did make choices several choices over time, actually which resulted in them giving in to desires, fantasies and impulses that they knew, at some level, were wrong and would be harmful to a child. That includes the interests of the person who uses or abuses a child. Only by taking genuine responsibility for their own actions, as well as responsibility for never doing it again, and by sincerely attempting to make amends not necessarily directly with the child or adult the child has become, who may want nothing to do with them , can those who have sexually used or abused a child truly heal themselves.

Also, attempting to understand why is not about forgiveness, and helping someone attempt to understand why is not about encouraging forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift, both to oneself and the other person. It is only meaningful, and real, when given freely and willingly. You may be ready now to forgive a particular person who has hurt you. Whatever your situation and your path, please remember this: demands, threats, manipulation, trickery and guilt can never bring genuine forgiveness.

In fact, when someone tries to manipulate or force you into forgiving them or someone else, they are mostly trying to help themselves — not you.

For example, the other person may be trying to relieve their own guilt, or to free themselves from uncomfortable questions your experiences and needs raises about how their family or organization e. Sometimes such behavior can be abusive in its own right. Like making excuses, demonizing can provide the illusion of understanding, as well as the illusion of having emotional resolution about what happened.